5 Beginner exercises for the experienced POTheads!

Beginner exercises for experienced cannabis users require three disciplines…Commitment, Consistency, and Patience. Commitment is mental and will build your long term discipline. Consistency will be difficult at first since your motionless pot-head routine will easily defeat your commitment. Therefore, your burned-out-mind needs to overpower that laziness by being consistent for two weeks. Soon enough you’ll realize you can’t go without your new exercise routine. Patience is key, give time a chance for changes to be noticeable, results will come with commitment and consistency. So begin with a 15 minute workout for the first three days (breaks don’t count as part of that time) then add to it.  Try this group of 5 basic exercises to loosen up your body and get it used to being in motion.

0. STRETCH!!!…c’mon, you can’t fuck this up…

Just stretch your body off that couch! Enough said.

1. Push-ups:

These are a no-brainer, beginner exercises for experienced cannabis users need to be simple yet challenging.

Push ups are exactly that, they strengthen your core by forcing you into a stable position so long as you keep a straight plank during the entire process. If you can’t hold a plank then place both knees on the ground while executing the exercise until you build up strength. Beginners can start with just 3 to 5 pushups (repetitions) and repeat 4 times (sets), take no more than 1 minute break between each set. The trick here is to add an extra push-up everyday to the first two sets, then to the third, and finally to the fourth set by the second week. I forgot you’re high, so don’t worry about the math, just add more push-ups and sets daily. You should feel the workout on your chest, shoulders, back, and arms. Expect to be sore within 24 to 48 hours. Don’t let the pain discourage you though, that’s normal, just keep doing them. 

2. Jumping-Jacks:

This exercise will get your blood flowing and help you break a sweat.

Start with 10 to 15 Jumping-Jacks then break for no more than one minute, and repeat 3 to 4 times (sets). A properly executed Jumping-Jack should start with both feet together and both arms at your side, then simultaneously kickstart it with a  hop to extend your legs approximately shoulder width apart while at the same time extend your arms sideways to a 90 degree angle at shoulder level, then quickly hop back to the starting position bringing both your feet together and arms down to your side. More experienced people will bring their arms above their head until the palms meet, do this until you can achieve that position. The exercise will help build your arm and leg coordination which can ultimately lead you to additional coordinated workouts. The goal is to build up a sweat and get your heart pumping. Yes, you’ll feel weird and look funny when you first start bouncing your fat-high-ass off the couch, but once your heart and sweat get going you’ll know they’re no joke. 

3. Lunges:

The killer ASS workout, but again, results require Commitment, Consistency, and Patience.

Start by standing streight with both hands at your waist and feet standing normally apart, then take a normal stride forward (don’t over extend or you’ll lose your balance, remember, you’re not a pro yet). Upon taking a step dip straight down keeping your upper body straight, chin up, and looking forward (don’t look down). You should feel your upper body weight transfer to the front leg, hence why not to over extend your forward stride.

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As the weight transfers to the forward leg continue to carefully dip down until your back knee is slightly above ground…but do NOT slam your knee on the ground.  Recover to the starting position by pushing your upper weight with your forward leg back up. Here is where the ass work out should kick in. As you move back to the start position focus your effort on your butt cheek and not your quad muscles.  Do this 3-4 times on each leg, then take a break for no more than a minute and repeat another 3-4 times (sets). Most people switch legs on every recovery, others do the repetitions on one leg before switching to the other, once both legs go through a routine a set has been completed. Either way is fine. Add a lunge to each leg until you reach 10 lunges on each leg which should be achievable by the second week.

4. Mix it all up with Burpees:

Remember, even beginner exercises for experienced cannabis users suck and so expect to hate burpees.

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Start by standing with your legs together and arms at your side. Quickly squat down putting your hands on the ground in front of you for a push-up position, then kick both of your legs back until your body is extended in an actual push-up position. Do a push a push-up. From the push-up position, hop your legs back to your chest and stand up without using your hands to help you up. Once you reach the up-right position end it with one Jumping-Jack. That’s 1 repetition. Do three repetitions back to back, then take a 1 minute break and start your second set until you reach 3 sets. By the fourth day add a fourth burpee to each set, then a fifth to the first set on the fifth day. On the sixth day add a fifth repetition to the second set, on the seventh day a fifth repetition to the third set and so on…by the end of the second week you should be doing 7 burpees back to back for all three sets.

5. Stop…Rest…smoke a bowl:

This is the rewarding part. Stereotypes of the common pothead are often a misrepresentation of certain individuals, however we are all different. We each pursue goals differently regardless of our extracurricular activities. A goal of staying healthy and having an excersie routine that fits into your lifestyle is important for several reasons. Self-confidence, discipline, and to not let the effects of cannabis control your life. Throw out the stereotype, you are who you want to be while still achieving and enjoying a rewarding cannabis life style.

Good luck and Just remember, Keep It Moving!